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Food Carnival! (transcript)
(Episode opens with Nerville at the 'Food Carnival') Midget Apple: 'You guys, the Food Carnival's got so many rides. I don't even know which one to go on first! Bumper cars, the roller coaster, the ferris wheel?! I feel like my head is about to explode with sheer anticipation! '''Nerville: '''Deep breathes, little buddy. I'm exited about the Food Carnival as much as the next guy. But I didn't build all these rides so I could spend my afternoon cleaning up apple barf. '''Orange: '''Whoa! You built all this yourself? '''Nerville: '''Yep. Don't mean to brag, but old Nerville is a pretty Handy Mandy. (chuckles) '''Pear: '''Where'd you get the material? '''Nerville: '''The dumpster out back. Somebody threw out a bunch of perfectly good garbage. Could you believe it. '''Pear: '''Wait. So are you sure the rides are... you know, safe? '''Nerville: '''You bet your butt they're safe. Each of these rides has Nerville's personal stamp of approval. (hits a ride with his cane and it explodes, Nerville takes a few steps back) Stamp of approval. (hits the merry-go-round and it falls apart, walks away) Stamp of... (ride breaks) I didn't even touch-I didn't even touch that one! Can we just start over from the beginning? Hi. I'm Nerville. '''Midget Apple: '''Guys! I can't take it anymore! I wanna go on the Ferris wheel! '''Nerville: '''The puny one makes a good point. Line starts here. (fruits all line up) '''Orange: '''Oh, me first! (all fruits argue) '''Midget Apple: '''First! Yes! Everything is coming up Apple! '''Nerville: '''Not so fast, Shorty McGorts. Your not quite tall enough to ride. '''Midget Apple: '''Huh?! (sign that says "You can't ride must be taller than you" with picture of a crossed-off Midget Apple comes down) '''Nerville: '''You can't ride! Sorry, there's a sign... You, but that's, in this case talking about you, of course. '''Midget Apple: '''No, this can't be happening! Quick, somebody slap me! I think I'm my recurring nightmare and need to wake up! '''Ginger: '''I'll slap you. (slaps Midget Apple with her root) Did it work? '''Midget Apple: '''Oh...Carnival Day really took a hard left turn for me, guys. '''Orange: '''Hey, Passion, wanna ride with me? '''Passion Fruit: '''Sure! '''Grapefruit & Peach: '''Ooh... '''Orange: '(hops on) What? '''Grapefruit: '''Orange, everyone knows the Ferris wheel is the most romantic of carnival rides. '''Nerville: '''And the view of the top is rather romantic, if I do say so myself. But I've never experienced that, so... tell me what it's like. Off you go! (pulls the lever, Orange and Passion go up.) '''Grapefruit & Peach: '''Orange and Passion sitting in a tree... '''Orange: '''S-P-I-T-T-I-N-G! (spits seeds at Grapefruit) '''Grapefruit: '''Ow! (Orange laughs) (sighs) This line's too long. Lets go on another ride. '''Midget Apple: '''Yeah! A scary one! '''Marshmallow: '''Yay! '''Pear: '''Scary one? Um... I-I don't know... '''Grapefruit: '''Oh, what's the matter, Pear? Are you, uh, Scared? '''Pear: '''I'm not scared. I'm just... uh, uh... allergic to movement. Kind of. Yeah. {Grapefruit, Midget Apple and Marshmallow leave the scene, Ginger appears) '''Ginger: '''Really? I'm allergic to movement too. I'm also allergic to temperature change and nuts and water and color purple. Oh, and sunshine and darkness. We should hang out together while everybody else does fun stuff. (gurgles, fizzles and mutters) Can we move somewhere else? '''Pear: '''Um... '''Ginger: '''At first I thought that cotton candy was pink, but my other allergies kind of mess up my eyesight sometimes, so now I'm guessing it's purple. (gurgles and snorts. '''Pear: '''Ugh... '''Ginger: '''Come on, friend. (Grapefruit dings the bell and the crowd cheers) '''Grapefruit: '''Step right up! See if you can out srongman the Great Grapefruit. Oh, yeah! Come on! (Ham Williams Jr. tries and fails) Better luck next time, Pal. (laughs) (Bumper cars crash and burn) '''Midget Apple: '''Nerville, I think the bumper cars are broken. '''Nerville: '''Impossible! (picks one up) The bumper cars come with Nerville's personal stamp of approv... (explodes in his hand) Ah... did they explode in my hand? It's on fire! (blows) Ah! '''Passion Fruit: '''I'm having so much fun, Orange. '''Orange: '''Me too. I bet "wheel" remember this forever. (laughs with Passion) Wait. You thought that was funny? '''Passion Fruit: '''Of course. '''Orange: '''Um... I'm not sure how to respond. Nobody ever laughs at my jokes. Except for me. (laugh) 'Passion Fruit: '''Wow, what a great view. (Ferris wheel stops) (gasp) Why did we just stop? '''Pear: '''Aah! There's a bunch of electrical sparks! '''Orange: '''So "watt" exactly is the problem? (laughs) Electrical jokes. '''Peach: '''Ooh, looks like the love birds are stuck on the Ferris wheel together. Hands to yourself but you don't have 'em so forget it. '''Grapefruit: '(laughs) It's getting more romantic by the second up there. (Orange spits another seed at him) Ow! 'Passion Fruit: '''Nerville! The Ferris wheel is broken. '''Nerville: '''Be there in a jiffy-doodle. I gotta fix this roller coaster track real quick. (works on the roller coaster) Here we... (continues) There we go. Good as new. '''Apple: '''Great. Here I come... (rides the roller coaster off the track to explode) '''Nerville: '''Um... The Ferris wheel, folks, it's gonna be a while longer. '''Orange: '''Looks like I'll just have to fix this myself. Hmm. Uh... (spits a seed at the gears and it breaks) Hm.. Maybe this is a job for someone with hands after all. '''Grapefruit: ' Any other takers? Nobody else feels like losing? 'Marshmallow: '''I do, I do, I do! '''Grapefruit: '''Marshmallow? Ha! This ought to be good for a laugh. '''Marshmallow: '(dings the bell) Yay! 'Grapefruit: '''Aw, come on! '''Marshmallow: '''Yay! I love bells! (dings it some more) Yay! '''Nerville: '''Ooh, Marshmallow. You dinge the bell. You won a stuffed unicorn. A blue unicorn. A blunicorn! (gives it to Marshmallow) '''Marshmallow: '''This looks just like my sister! Yay! '''Nerville: '''It's got flowers on it too. Give that to a lady. Or keep it or hold it close like a lady. Whatever you want. '''Marshmallow: '''Um... (Nerville takes a pink dolphin from the prize been) '''Midget Apple: '''Bumper boats! Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! '''Nerville: '''Sorry, Midget Apple. You're too short to ride the bumper boat. '''Midget Apple: '''You gotta be kidding me! '''Nerville: '''Maybe you should try a different ride like those ridiculous spinning teacups for infants. '''Midget Apple: '''What the... that's a kiddy ride! Aah! Okay! Fine. (rides the teacups) '''Baby Carrot: '''Oh, don't spin the cup too fast. '''Midget Apple: '''Oh, come on! That's the best part. Don't be babies. '''Baby Beat: '''But we are babies. '''Midget Apple: '(grunts) 'Nerville: '(Working on the roller coaster again) And... Boo-yah! I really, really think I fixed it this time. 'Curry: '''You sure? 'Cause I'm about to go on this ride and I value my life. '''Nerville: '''Not to worry, Curry. This track has Nerville's personal stamp of approv... (Curry crashes into the bumper boats, sending them flying into a sigh which cruses the teacups) '''Midget Apple: '''Aw, man! There's no other rides left. '''Nerville: '''Not the first time my shoddy craftsmanship resulted in a chain reaction that demolished an entire carnival. (more rides fall apart) Probably won't be the last either. (laughs) Why did I laugh? Am I evil? (laughs evilly) That sounded way to good not to make me be evil. '''Passion Fruit: '''Orange, the sign! Oh! (the sign swings at them) '''Orange: '''We have to jump! '''Passion Fruit: '''Oh, no! It's too far! Ah, if we jump we're gonna get smooshed! '''Orange: '(looks up at the sign and down toward the stuffed animals in the prize been) I've got an idea! (kicks Passion off the wheel) 'Passion Fruit: '''Aah! (lands in the prize been) '''Orange: '''Aah, aah! (jumps before the sign hits the wheel and lands on the bell) Oh... Passion! are you okay! '''Passion Fruit: '''I am! are you? '''Orange: '''I am a little dinged up. (laughs) '''Nerville: '''Ooh. You dinged the bell. Here's you're prize. (gives Orange a purple teddy bear) I remember the first purple teddy bear I won for a lady. Hasn't happened yet but I can remember things in the future. '''Orange: '''Looks like I "bear-ly" survived after all. (laughs) '''Ginger: '''Oh, no, purple! Oh. Oh, I think I might be sick. Pear, can you hold my back curls back if I hurl! '''Pear: '(almost throws up) Yeah. O-Okay. 'Ginger: '''Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever... offered to do... (throws up in the garbage can) '''Passion Fruit: '''Orange, you saved my life! (kisses Orange) '''Orange: '(laughs and holds out the teddy bear) Here, I won you this! '''Passion Fruit: I love teddy bears! Peach: 'Orange, do you fully comprehend what's go'in on? If you give Passion that stuffed animal, we are gonna tease you so hard. Do it, do it, do it. '''Grapefruit: '''Orange and Passion sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S... (Orange spits a seed in Grapefruit's mouth) Ah, that went right in my mouth! That's so gross! (Orange and Passion leave) You're go'in down, Orange! '''Orange: '''Hey, hey Nerville. Hey, Nerville, hey. Looks like the carnival was a real smash (laughs) '''Nerville: '(sighs) Yeah, sorry about that, guys. I just wanted to make something really fun and non-lethal for you. I guess there's always next year. (sighs) (accidentally hits Midget Apple with his mop) 'Midget Apple: '''Whoa! '''Nerville: '''Ooh, Midget Apple... I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. '''Midget Apple: '''Don't be sorry. That was the most fun on a ride I've had all day. '''Nerville: '''Really? '''Midget Apple: '''Yeah! What do ya call it? The Food Slippity Slide? '''Nerville: '''Well I was just gonna call it the Accidental Mop-a-Saurus Fling-a-tron 3000 but that's probably way too brilliant. Lets just go with your name. '''Midget Apple: '''Hey, guys! Line starts here for the best ride ever: Food-Slippity-Slide. No height requirements. '''Nerville: '''No height requ... Lets not be an idiot Midget... Okay. No height requirement. '''Midget Apple: '(laughs) Yeah! (fruits line up arguing) (everyone rides) '''Nerville: '''Oh.. ready? (hits Elderly Banana) '''Elderly '''Banana: '''I don't have to move! '''Nerville: '''Yes. They're enjoying themselves. Redemption! '''Orange: '''You did it, Nerville. Way to go. '''Nerville: '''Aw, thanks, guys. Wait, to you guys wanna go together on the Accidental Food-Flinging Slippity Party? '''Grapefruit & Peach: '''Ooh... '''Passion Fruit: '''We don't have to if you're embarrassed, Orange. '''Orange: '''Nah, I don't care if they tease us. I can "bear" it. (holds out the teddy bear and laughs) '''Nerville: '''Bear it? (laughs) If there's one thing I like more than puns its... sarcasm about liking puns. I don't like puns. Lets do it. (hits Orange and Passion) '''Orange: '''Whee! (laughs) '''Passion Fruit: '''Yeah! '''Orange: '''Wow! (mop breaks) '''Nerville: '''Oh, no! I broke it! I broke the happy ride! Mop-a-Saurus Fling-a-tron... Oh... I'll fix you. I swear my life on it. (episode ends)Category:Transcript